Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Just blah...

I can't believe I haven't blogged in almost a month. And another month has flown by. I am 19 weeks along in this pregnancy! Hard to believe I will be half way next week.

Did anyone else experience any blues during pregnancy? I thought they say that's all after the baby. I feel like I can't get out of this rut. I pray about it and try to work on it but not much seems to help. It's really sad that the best mood I've been in is the other day when I finally had enough energy to clean, do laundry, and sort through some of my cabinets in the kitchen. I hadn't needed to start wearing my maternity clothes until this week. So I got them out a couple weeks ago just to wash and sort and I hung everything up in my closet and it made me so depressed I wanted to cry. I know this sounds super selfish because I'm completely happy that I'm pregnant and super excited about it, just some things are getting to me. I think it's because I gained so much weight during the last pregnancy that I wore my maternity clothes for at least 6 months after Drea was born if not longer. So I feel like I just got out of some of these clothes. Finally lost all of my extra weight around Sept last year and now I'm looking at all of these clothes again that signify to me what is happening to my body again. I don't remember feeling like this the first time, like my body just isn't my own. I'm going to guess this sounds pathetic especially to my cousin April who might not even stopped wearing her maternity clothes by the time she was pregnant again because her boys are going to be only 15 months apart (or something close to that.)

Anyway, this isn't the only thing depressing me. There are other things but they are all just as silly. I think it's depressing me that these things are depressing me, if that makes sense. They just don't matter so why am I letting it get to me? I just want to feel like I'm not going to cry every minute of the day. I know...just hormones, right. Doesn't anyone get tired of hearing that? I know my hormones are out of whack. But that doesn't help anything.

On a more positive note, I'm feeling the baby move every day now. So that is helping.

Sorry, this post is so negative and complaining.